A Couple Seconds at Freddy's
by RabidPanzer
Summary: Quality content.
1. Chapter 1

A Couple Seconds at Freddy's

 **[Do not take this seriously. I just had to get it out of my system.]**

One stormy night, a man named Mike Schmidt was really, and I mean REALLY drunk. He staggered into Freddy Fazbear's Family Diner and decided, under the influence of alcohol, that he would get a job there. He talked to the man in the managers office, and got his job.

 **! ! !**

It was finally 12 am, and Mike sat down in his chair, almost sober. He heard the phone ring, and he picked it up. The guy on the other end was rambling about some animatronic shit. Whatever. When he was done, he put down the phone and Freddy appeared. Freddy threw a machete at Mike, but he swiftly dodged it. Then Freddy got angry. He pulled out a flamethrower, and uses it on Mike. But Mike dodges every single missile.

"HA! You can't hit me you faggot!"

Then Freddy pulls out a nuke. He chops Mike in half with the nuke, and begins to stomp on the corpse. Once it looks like Mike was put through a meat grinder, Freddy grabs the meat, and makes a pizza with it.

 **! ! !**

"DADDY. WHY DOES TASTE LIKE HUMAN!?"

 **[I am sorry. I have no fucking idea why I wrote this. God. He didn't even stuff him! If I get enough reviews that basically say- "Dis autistic shit is autistic." -Then I will make a second chapter. Or story. idk XD ]**


	2. Chapter 2

A Couple Seconds at Freddy's 2

 **[Here y'all go, the second chapter of this autistic shit.]**

Jeremy Fitzgerald was getting a job at Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria. He didn't feel like doing it alone, so he brought his girlfriend. They got drunk during his shift because Mangle was giving them vodka. And then they heard it. The FUCKING AUTISTIC SOUND OF FOXY RUNNING DOWN THE HALLWAY WITH A DILDO IN HIS ASS!

Foxy runs into the office, and pulls out a magnum. He shoots Jeremy's girlfriend's foot, and her head explodes into blood, covering the entire office.

" **NUU!** " Jeremy flies at Foxy, and Foxy stabs Jeremy with a house.

"I win BOI! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" Jeremy throws an axe at Foxy, who quintuple flips into the air. Jeremy then pulls out his girlfriend's vibrator, and cuts off Foxy's arm with it. " **MOWIE WOWIE ZOWIE!** " Foxy shouts out in pain, and spontaneously combusts. Then Jeremy farts and Foxy explodes.

" **YE!** " And then Jeremy dies.

 **[ XD ]**


	3. Chapter 3

A Couple Seconds at Freddy's 3

 **[Remember to review this autistic shit for more!]**

Unnamed night guard #1 was getting a new job at Fazbear's Fright, so he brought his katana.

He slept for night 1.

NIGHT 2. They found animatronic. His name is Springtrap! Unnamed night guard #1 was not happy, so he shouted- "Yay! I'm am a FAGGOT.

Springtrap heard and thought was Ballong Boy.

"GET FUCKED" He said, snapping Unnamed night guard #1's neck.

But Unnamed night guard #1 dodged it! "YAY YOU R FAGGGGG U PECE OF SHIT." Springtrap hate kids. So he ran away and got a didldo. He shoved the didldo up Unnamed night guard #1's ass, and Unnamed night guard #1 sed "Nu." So he dodged, and then sed "AH!" he turned into super saiyen and killed plantet.

De ned. :P

 **[This took me 2 minutes to write. XD]**


	4. Chapter 4

**[Eugh.. The autism..]**

"Fock nawe! NIGHTMARE! Freddy tried to stap mr. chilrden, but he go NOPE so den he took out RIFLE onwds]

Dieied

 **[...]**

 **[This autistic shit is autistic= More chapters.]**


	5. Chapter 5

It was a dork an storme naht, und mr. nut gord was goin' 2 sl becaz he was board. he gotted no scoped


	6. WHAT IS THIS CRAP!

For those of you actually read this crap:

...

Go and do something healthy with your life. Every second your eyes are on this story, you will lose trillions of brain cells a second. For those of you that ENJOY this crap:

...

HAVVAGUDWUNN, PEOPLE!

P.S, Because people actually read this, I'll do one for every FNaF game. I made this note because of a review. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

lh3. googleusercontent - A8asZwaut0Q / WxbQ33zd -I / AAAAAAAABgA / SBHN2ODtBW8ZCa _ 1pkmvMJXXUM _ 0BTLCwCLcBGAs / s0 / Screenshot % 2B2018-06-05%2Bat %2B11.52.34%2BAM. png

Take away the spaces to view my screenshot...


	7. Chapter 6

One day, Donald Trump wanted a really fucking terrible quality pizza. So he went to Dominos.

On an unrelated note,

"FREDDY! STOP SWAFFELEN CHICA!"

"FREDDY! DON'T LET PEDOPHILE INTO THE PIZZERIA!"

"FREDDY! DON'T PRESS THE "NUKE KYLE" BUTTON!"

"FREDDY! DON'T- Actually, that's not so bad…. WAIT NO, STOP!"

 **[Why the hell am I alive? Kill me now.]**


	8. Tide Pods taste good Bone appetite

It has come to my attention that someone thinks this story is a cringefest.

 ** _That's the fucking point, mate._**

This trash that you read, and bothered to review (for some reason) is a shitpost spot I use to dump my dead brain cells.

My IQ is like, 6. I basically can't take offence.


End file.
